I Was So Drunk At A Keg Party – My Eye Popped Out
We all have those embarrassing college stories. Some involve bad haircuts, others involve lost wallets. Mine? Well, let’s just say I learned the hard way why drinking and contact lenses don’t mix. Here’s how a night at a keg party turned into an unforgettable (and slightly disgusting) lesson.
We’d typically throw keg parties on weekends when school was in session. I was part of a social fraternity at a small Midwestern college, and beer-fueled nights were just part of the culture. That particular night, I had definitely overindulged—so much so that I started having trouble focusing. My vision swam, and I had to blink hard, trying to clear it. That’s when it happened.
My one and only “good eye” contact lens suddenly decided it had had enough of this nonsense and popped out of my eye. Just like that, it was gone. One minute it was keeping me semi-functional, the next it was lost in the chaos of the party. Panic set in. I was already nearsighted, and now, with beer sloshing around in my stomach and no clear vision, I was basically navigating the world like a blindfolded raccoon.
Back To Basic Specs at the Keg Party

After stumbling around for a bit—probably looking like someone trying to swat an invisible fly—I gave up and asked a classmate to walk me back to my dorm room. There, I retrieved my glasses, resigned to the fact that my contact was lost forever.
The next day, still groggy from the night before, I made my way back to the fraternity house to see if, by some miracle, my missing lens had been found. I wasn’t holding out much hope, but hey, stranger things had happened.
That’s when one of my fraternity brothers casually chuckled and said, “Yeah, I found a small blue piece of plastic this morning… in the urinal in the men’s room.”
Don’t Use This Cleaning Method At Home
Now, there are certain sentences that, once heard, cannot be unheard. This was one of them. My brain immediately started processing the horror. The urinal? As in, where people pee? Before I could even respond, he added, with zero shame, “I peed on it, just to make sure it was all cleaned off.”
There are moments in life when you question your choices. This was one of mine. Not only had I drunkenly lost my one functional contact lens, but it had also spent the night marinating in a fraternity house urinal. And someone had deliberately urinated on it.
Needless to say, that lens was never going near my eye again.
A Lesson in Alcohol and Questionable Decisions
Looking back, I realize this wasn’t just about a lost contact—it was a wake-up call. If losing a lens in a urinal isn’t enough to make you rethink your drinking habits, let’s talk about the other “great” decisions alcohol encourages: texting exes, attempting parkour, and—let’s be honest—thinking you can outdrink the football team.
Alcohol has a way of making even the smartest people do things that are, in hindsight, mind-numbingly stupid. Sure, a keg party can be fun, but when your night ends with a piece of your vision floating in a frat house toilet, it might be time to reconsider the whole “drink until you can’t see” strategy.
And that reminds me, Alex posted this story about his “formal date from hell.”
Ready to Make a Change?
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