Aren’t Rituals For Witches? – How Rituals Shape Your Habits

If you’re curious about rituals and how Claire is getting along after our chat, then read on! If you didn’t see it, read about Claire’s questions and answers here.

Most of us have mini rituals we go through, day in and day out. And no, I don’t mean brushing our teeth or taking showers—those are just basic hygiene. I’m talking about the small, everyday actions that bring order to the chaos. Like how I always pack my husband’s sandwich bag the night before so I’m not scrambling around like a chicken with its head cut off in the morning. Or how I set out the coffee cups and pods right by the coffee brewer before turning off the lights at night.

Some might think of rituals as something mystical, something reserved for witches and secret societies, but the truth is, rituals are simply repeated actions that provide a sense of comfort, grounding, and control. In a world that moves at warp speed, rituals can be an anchor—a way to slow down, take a deep breath, and feel like we have some grip on things, even if it’s just something as small as making sure tomorrow’s coffee is ready to go.

Claire’s Bad Habit

Back to Claire. She needed to face the truth—her drinking wasn’t just something she did now and then. It had become a habit. A. Bad. Habit. And when a habit takes root, it’s not just a decision anymore—it’s automatic. Something the brain expects. Something the brain craves.

So, if habits are powerful, how do we break them? Simple: we don’t just break habits—we replace them. You can’t just yank out a bad habit and leave an empty space behind. That void will beg to be filled. So, it has to be filled with something else, something better.

Is it as easy as saying, “Well, I’m done drinking. That’s it.”? Er, yes. And no.

Yes, because your brain is surprisingly obedient. If you tell it something often enough, it will listen.

No, because habits, especially ones that have been built over time, have triggers.

For Claire, that trigger might have been stress, loneliness, or even just sitting in her favorite chair at the end of the day. The body and mind remember these cues, and before she even realizes it, she’s reaching for a drink. That’s why simply saying “I quit” isn’t enough. The triggers remain, and unless they are replaced with something new, they’ll keep nudging her toward the old habit.

Day 1 is the Hardest but Necessary First Step

If you’ve ever started a diet, you’ll know exactly how this goes. The moment you decide to cut back on food, all you can think about is food. Same thing happens when you give up drinking. The thought lingers, whispers, pokes at you. The trick isn’t to fight the thought. Fighting it gives it power. The trick is to acknowledge it and then let it go.

Instead of panicking every time the thought of drinking pops into your head, recognize it for what it is—just a thought. Don’t try to force it away or pretend it doesn’t exist. Just say to yourself, “There’s that thought again. I see you. But you don’t control me.” And then move on.

Your New Ritual

Here’s where rituals become your secret weapon. Instead of thinking, “Jeez, I could do with a drink,” flip the script. Tell yourself: “Jeez, I don’t want a drink. It makes me feel awful, gain weight, and look blowsy.”

Now, before we go any further…

blows·y

ˈblouzē/

adjective

adjective: blowsy; comparative adjective: blowsier; superlative adjective: blowsiest; adjective: blowzy; comparative adjective: blowzier; superlative adjective: blowziest

(of a woman) coarse, untidy, and red-faced.

Definition of ‘blowsy’ – Courtesy of Google

At this point, you’ve not only recognized the urge but countered it. That’s an important step. But the next step is even bigger—what do you do instead?

If the old ritual was to reach for a drink, the new ritual must be something else. Maybe it’s making a cup of tea. Maybe it’s stepping outside for fresh air. Maybe it’s texting a friend, going for a walk, or doing something—anything—that tells your brain: “We don’t do that anymore. We do this instead.”

Because here’s the truth: willpower alone is not enough. Willpower is a muscle, and like any muscle, it gets tired. But rituals? Rituals run on autopilot. Just like Claire’s old habit had become second nature, her new ritual will too—if she sticks with it.

Understanding the “Urge”

The urge to drink is like an itch. It gets stronger when you pay attention to it, weaker when you distract yourself. Over time, if you keep redirecting your mind and reinforcing your new ritual, something amazing happens—the urge starts to fade.

How do I know? Because I’ve been there.

That’s exactly why I’ll be diving deeper into the “Urge” topic in the next blog post. Because understanding why cravings come, and more importantly, how to conquer them, is the real key to making sobriety stick.

Ready to Start Your Own Ritual?

Do you suspect you have a drinking problem? Are you tired of feeling stuck in the same loop, promising yourself this is the last time? Maybe it’s time to start a new ritual for you. One that doesn’t just take something away but gives you something better in return.

Because here’s the truth: life isn’t just better without alcohol. Life is better with clarity, control, and a sense of real, unshakable power over your own choices.

So, what’s your new ritual going to be?

Life’s Better Sober eBook – Coaching Program by Susan Gast
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